Today has been a day of highs and lows. Part of me wants to crawl in a hole and sleep for a couple of days and pretend today hadn't happened yet. But the grown-up part of me that's serious about making changes in my life knows what I really need to do is put it all out there on my blog. Hopefully y'all can help me figure this out.
So the day started off really well. I woke up much earlier then I wanted to, but I was eager to start the day. We started off with a breakfast of Carrot-Apple-Ginger juice, which we've had before. This time I was much more careful with the ginger and didn't overpower things. I wouldn't say it was great, but it was good. I could definitely drink it again with no problem. Normally I can only stand a carrot if it's been cooked with something that changes its taste, but the ginger and apple did a job job of changing the flavor.
Next up was the Mean Green Juice, which we've also had before. This time I corrected the mistake I mentioned in my blog post last night and I just juiced the leaves. Leaving the stems out made a huge difference. We ended up with a normal amount of juice, and the taste was much less overpoweringly "green." Still, I had trouble with it. I got about halfway, around 8 ounces, and started to choke and gag. I couldn't control it, it was some kind of involuntary reaction from my body. I don't know if it was that "green" taste just overwhelming my body, or some kind reaction to the thick consistency of the juice, but I almost threw up. I had to choke down the rest of the juice over the sink because I was worried I'd get sick. And even after washing it down with a ton of water I still had to go wash my mouth out with mouthwash to get the taste out before I could move on with my day.
Soon after I headed out to the grocery store to pick up the fruit and veggies we weren't able to get last night. All told between the two shopping trips we spent about $150 in food for just three days of juicing. That's insane! That would come out to almost $500/week for groceries when doing a juice fast. Still, I was determined to make this happen, and ran around to two different grocery stores on opposite sides of town to make sure I got the best deals I could on everything. I had a trunk full of more veggies then I've ever purchased before in my life. I began to worry about my sanity.
So back at home I fired up the new juicer this time, the one we got this past Sunday from another friend at church. The Juicemaster has some power to it. That thing shredded up whatever I shoved in the shoot without barely a pause. For our third juice of the day we were trying out a new juice, the Gazpacho Juice. I had high hopes for this one because it's a tomato based juice, and I've always loved tomato juice. So I ran the Juicemaster through its paces and ended up with two glasses full of this weird looking gunk. I wish I had remembered to take pictures so you could see. The color was something like a sickly-looking chocolate milk, and the consistency was like a foamy sludge, on par with the green juice earlier in the day.
I gave my girlfriend her juice first as my sacrifice to the juice gods. She took a drink and survived and said it wasn't too horrible. I figured if I could get down the green juice earlier then I was fine. I should have paid attention to the warning signs. When I was making the Mean Green Juice the plunger slipped from my hand when I was putting something down the shoot. It fell down into the big measuring cup I was using to collect the juice and splashed evil greenness all over me. That's right folks, the juice was fighting back. Then while making this Gazpacho Juice I had another involuntary reaction. Apparently parsley smells very green or something. I did a rough chop on the leaves and stems and gathered up 1 cup worth. As I was about to dump them in the juicer the scent hit me and I convulsed a little and started to gag. I wasn't even trying to drink them yet and it was making me sick.
Still I soldiered on. I was determined to do this. I wasn't going to let a few green twigs keep me from getting to my goal. So there I was, juice in hand, and the smell was starting to get to me. I decided to just hold my breath and try to slam it down. I got down one swallow and started choking and gagging really bad. It was horrible. I gulped down some water and did some deep breathing to calm myself until the convulsions stopped, and then I tried again. Nobody can tell me I didn't try at this, that's for sure. I barely got the juice in my mouth and I was choking this time.
As I stood there at the kitchen sink, leaning over it and trying not to be sick, I was forced to admit the truth, a total juice fast just is not something I can do. I read some articles the other day online that caught my interest, and then say it on Wikipedia. I think I must be a Supertaster. That's the only thing that makes sense. For instance I can always taste alcohol in a drink, therefore I don't drink it because I can't stand the taste. I've tried all kinds of different mixed drinks, wines, wine coolers, etc and I always taste it. Same thing with green veggies. I can taste it, not matter what, ant the taste just overwhelms my taste buds and my body reacts badly to it. So I can't do a juice fast if my body is going to react the way it did today. It was scary really because I had no control over it. For anyone who thinks it was all in my mind, you're wrong. I wanted so badly for this to work, and I believed completely that I could do it.
My girlfriend was great though. I was just broken emotionally over this. All the money I had just spent, sure I had finally found the way to help me win back control over my life and health, and I failed. But she stepped up and made me feel better. We talked it out and decided that since there are some juices I like, we don't need to give up the idea completely, just modify it. Instead of trying to do a juice fast by trying out the Long Weekend Reboot, we could instead try our own version of the Plus Dinner Reboot. We'll figure out what juices out of all the recipes online are most likely to be ones I like, and then design a Plus Dinner plan around them.
So we stopped juicing for today, I moped around a bit, then we had a nice dinner. Tomorrow we'll start all over with some new juices and see what the day brings. It's just tough not to feel like a failure. But then a part of me wonders if it might be for the best. I'm starting to think that the whole juicing idea might not be a good one for us. Like I said earlier in this post, the cost would be around $500 per week. I don't see how we'd be able to afford that. That's the problem with food, the good food that you really need costs more than the processed crap that destroys a person's health. The average person can't afford to live healthy. Not in this area at least. I don't know if it might be better outside of California, but out here things are expensive.
for now I'm winding down for the night. Trying to not think about the roadblock I hit today and trying to stay positive. Wish me luck!
Hey Ken,
ReplyDeleteI wanted to post as you actually inspired me to watch the film again and get back into eating right.
So, I'll remind you of the film where he says... even if you just do a couple days, or even if you just incorporate more greens then you're already doing better. It's never failure.
I'm not sure where you're buying your veggies but is Trader Joe's near you? We (my bf and I) spend about $100/week (we're in LA) on food and that's with my smoothie, mean juice ingredients and normal food. TJ's has a lot of cheap organic veggies and I've found it really great.
We also hit up the farmer's market (although we only get greens there now as much of it is way more expensive).
In full disclosure I'm not doing the full cleanse so maybe that is the difference in the price that I'm not seeing. I just buy the mean grean stuff once a week and then my other smoothie stuff.
As a person who grew up sick from so much food (which my parents deemed 'fussy' then found out I was allergic - to all meat) I totally get that this is NOT in your head.
Your body needs time to adjust and fruit/veggies probably have more/stronger taste than your every day food. (I love strawberries but still find them soo sweet on their own).
Have you ever been tested for food allergies? Just another thought as that shed a lot of light on my health for me.
If you don't feel you can do the fast, just keep trying different juices. I tried the Kiwi, blueberry, strawberry today - so yummy! I also juice watermelon and mint which is my fav summertime drink.
As I mentioned on Erin's wall too - also try different apples (or different amounts of lettuce. I don't use ginger in mine at all and actually a lot more kale but it's really the apples that make the difference for me).
Another suggestion I could make is to also grab the Thrive cookbook. It's vegan but obviously as a carnivore you can just use what you can to add more fruit/veggie in your diet and eat meat on the side. It's very healthy eating - although you do have to look through and find easier recipes or you can overspend easily trying out new ingredients.
Whatever you decide works for you, I hope you keep trying.
I know I don't know you (except that according to Erin you're a pretty awesome half of an awesome couple) so I hope I don't sound preachy but positive as reading your blog I'm totally rooting for you!! :)